Google dropped a new quantum computing paper and the internet immediately reacted like a squirrel discovered a live electrical panel.
Within hours, everyone with a Wi-Fi connection became a quantum cryptography expert. Bitcoin was declared dead for the 4,000th time. Twitter filled with people acting like Sergey Brin personally kicked in Satoshi’s front door and walked out with the private keys.
Adam actually read the paper.
He walks through what Google’s research says, what it doesn’t say, which part of Bitcoin is theoretically exposed, and whether 2029 is a real threat horizon — or just the next date the internet has scheduled for public emotional self-harm.
Spoiler: the keys are fine. The discourse is not.
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